I want to be a better muslim(ah), simple as that.
I want my imaan to be high and my gaze lowered. My voice clear and my speech decent. I want to look modest, to be modest. I want to feel Allah’s presence all around me and to have fear of sinning. I want to worship Him all the time and be of good character. I feel I failed Him, I feel I failed at my life’s purpose and I’m scared. I’m going to keep on fighting anyway. Since I’m still breathing, I will keep on going. I love Him more than anything and I want to be free from this dunya and all that is in it. Let Him take over. Do what I have to do, be what I am supposed to be. Insha’Allah.